Naruto: Fanfiction war!
by dreamer789
Summary: It's a war! Whoever makes the best fanfiction wins! Wanna know more? Then read more buddy! This fic is so fun to write.
1. Chapter 1

Hello readers, I have added something in my profile, I am having a competition against DtechnoKira. We shall ROCK !!

It's a friendly competition actually, it's not really one to be honest...we're just gonna be the FICTION MASTERS!! WOO!!

YEAH!! GO US!!

P.S. Only one fic per chap(or 2...) because I am lazy, you can see that by my hardly uploads in my other 2 fics(Her life blah blah and School blah blah) back then.

* * *

**Naruto: Wars of Fanfiction (dreamer style)**

HIYA BUDDIEZ!! The war starts now! Who will win? No one knows.

Our dear competitors who are Naruto characters have made fanfiction, I reviewed most of them then I came up with the idea of FANFICTION WARZZZ!!

Let's start!

BEFORE!!

"Aw man." Naruto whined on the floor.

Shut up! These are like flashbacks of how Naruto got his idea and...stuff.

**One day in Konoha**

"The ramen was delicious! See ya later, old man!" Naruto waved goodbye to Ayame and Teuchi.

A while later, he got back to his apartment and into his room.

"What a day." He sat on his couch then a puff of smoke appeared out of nowhere.

"Yo." And whaddaya know? It's Kakashi.

"Kakashi-sensei?!"

"I wanted to tell you that I found out this thing about fanfiction and it allows you to write story about us. I made one, wanna try making one yourself?"

"Oh yeah! I'm always up for a challenge mental or not!"

"Ok then. Take me to your room." Kakashi ordered. Without saying a word, Naruto lead him to his room where his computer was. Kakashi logged on and showed him fanfiction dot net.

"Woah! Hey Kakashi-sensei. I have a question."

"What is it Naruto?"

"Why are you showing me this, I bet that this is some site for perverts like you!"

"I'm a bit surprised Naruto, you actually made a smart question. To answer, it's because we're having a war."

"War?! Against which country?"

"Every country." Naruto's mouth turned into a big wide O.

"They all teamed up against us?!"

"No, don't be silly. It's just fanfiction war, it's not really war. Just a friendly competition actually." Said Kakashi emphasizing the word fanfiction.

"So how do you do this fanfiction thing?"

"Be patient. All you gotta do is make a account which I made for you already with your own hotmail account and-" Before he could continue Naruto cut him off.

"MY ACCOUNT?!"

"Yes Naruto, it was quite easy to figure out, the password was ramen also here." Naruto twitched. "Well? Aren't you gonna log on and write your fanfic?" Kakashi asked.

"I wanna see yours first! Then I'll make one!" Kakashi smiled behind his mask and without saying a word he showed Naruto his fanfic.

**Icha Icha lemon by xXscarecrowXx**

**Rated M**

**Summary: Kurenai lost Asuma and was having problem finding a mate now that she gave birth for a few weeks to her son and is in heat. Who will put out that heat in her? Lemon.  
**

Kurenai is having a VERY bad case of hornyness. She had done many things to try to satisfy her sexual needs but happens to not able to do that. She didn't care who would have sex with her as long as the heat in her gets turn off.

She decided to go to Kakashi's house.

"Kakashi!" She called out from outside Kakashi's door. Soon Kakashi arrived and opened the door for her.

"Hi Ku..." He stopped as he saw Kurenai with a fish net shirt and a jacket just to cover the private parts...just like Anko.

"Mind if I come in?" She asked.

"Not at all..." Kakashi stood aside not taking his eyes off her then she pushed him to a wall and slowly peeled down his mask.

Alas, the mask was off and they slowly closed the gap between, with just that kiss. A nigh of passion sparked slowly burning and it became more wild. It was a fire that cannot be put out.

Kakashi slowly took off her jacket and-

**Story got cut off.**

"KAKASHI!!" Kurenai broke through Naruto's window and punched Kakashi in the face.

Naruto was so absorbed in the story that he kept reading and didn't know what was happening.

"What was that for?" Kakashi asked her as he rubbed his face.

"I read your stupid fanfiction!! You bastard!" Oh my...she was crushing him, trying to break his legs and...er...his arm broke.  
She grabbed both of his arms and spun him around and broke Naruto's computer.

"Aaaaw Kurenai-sensei! It was getting good just when he..." He stopped as he saw Kurenai throw Kakashi to the floor and stepped on him.

"I think that I gotta use the bathroom..." Said Naruto and ran to the bathroom and jumped out the window.

**A few minutes later.**

The ANBU was at Naruto's house picking up the dead Kakashi and arresting Kurenai for murdering.

Poor Naruto and Sakura. They mourned for him in his funeral.

"Sensei...that fanfic was so great, thank you for showing me the great world of fanfiction. I shall write the best fanfic ever and make you proud." Said Naruto.

"SENSEI!!" Sakura sobbed loudly on her knees.

"...Dick..." Said Sai who stood behind them looking at a book while giggling in a very perverted manner.

**At jail with Kurenai.**

"Kurenai-sensei, we'll bail you out! We got 500,000 ryos!" Said Kiba.

"W-we had to put our s-salary together just to get you o-out of here." Said Hinata.

Shino nodded.

"Oh that's so sweet, I'm lucky to have you as my students but it's ok you don't have to pay. I'll just wait for those 30 years to pass."

"Really?" Kiba asked and Kurenai just nodded.

"Oh ok...let's go guys." Said Kiba pulling Shino and Hinata away with him.

"...W-wait what? HEY!! DON'T GO YET!! I CHANGED MY MIND!! NOOOO!" Poor Kurenai, too late for her, they are already gone.

* * *

Yeah, I said that Naruto was gonna write but NO! I lied! Nah, kidding. I was gonna make him write but as I wrote I been changing my mind and steering into another way so yeah...well up next is NARUTO!!...I hope.

Same hour, same channel. DON'T MISS IT!


	2. Naruto!

"Sensei, this is for you!" Said Naruto looking up at the ceiling then started typing in the new computer.

**Story title: naruto uzumakee, the gretest hokagay by NARUTOUZUMAKEE  
**

**Rated: T**

**Summary: ME! Teh gretest ninya in hisdory dat canot be beeten!**

**Character: Naruto**

**Character 2: Sakura**

i am naruto uzumakee! gretest ninya that cannot be beeten or kiled.

obaa-chan gave us a A rank mision it wuz sabe sasukay! me, sukura adn sai sabed him, wel actaly i wuz teh wan hoo sabe him.

we battled but i beet him easili. he used cheetoree but mai rusengun wuz beter so sukura wuz lyk o naruto! you r so powerful! yu beat stoopeed sheekan haird bot! yu r beter!

so wii lyk kised and sasukay cryd beecus he suked and me and sukura had sex and had a lot of baybees and i became teh most powerfol hokagay evur.

**the end**

**otor's not: i know, i know, i am the best wryter evur. no neet 2 point out teh obious. but pliz rebieu**

**Reviews: 1**

_dreamer789_

_I got nothing to say man...that was really...how should I say this...I never ever flamed before but you sucked so much that you make me want to flame for the first time! YOU SUCK MAJOR ASS!! You make Naruto(the show) look bad!_

Review reply:

O ya? well yur cramer adn espelink soks coc! i's beter than u

**(A/N: Actually Naruto is my fav. character but I just like to make him an idiot)**

_My thoughts: Ugh, this guy is such an idiot...it's impossible to make him admit anything._

In here something lurks in the darkness...well not really, just to keep your mind dark and wonder what character said this: "What the hell?"

"NARUTO!!" A kunoichi broke throught Naruto's window just like Kurenai, now you know who it is.

"Aaaw, my window's broken again."

"SHUT UP AND TAKE THIS!!" Boom...X.X poor guy. Suffered the same fate as Kakashi. Life taken away by Sakura, a powerful kunoichi.

From then on, no one dared make fics of themselves banging someone else...or maybe not...

Anyway, Sakura ended up in jail and Sasuke came back to Konoha to visit her.

"HAHA!! YOU GOT SERVED!!" Man, Sasuke's being OOC right now.

"STOP IT!!" She screamed as Sasuke launched monkey poo at her.

"Shut up will ya!" Kurenai, Sakura's cellmate took out a whip in a way of threatening her to shut up.

**End of dream. YAY!! I tricked you guys!  
**

"HOLLY CRAP!!" Sakura woke up sweating.

"What's wrong?" A woman asked.

"I-I had a dream that Sasuke-kun came back and launched poo at me."

"That's because the policeman gave you the whip." Said the woman, Sakura checked her back and saw whip marks all over her and sighed.

"I regret doing what you did...Kurenai..."

Well, well, it wasn't a dream after all.


	3. Sai the dick lovuh

**Naruto fanfiction war: Sai-kun the dick lover.**

Tsunade cleared her throat, checked her nails, looked at the mirror then sat in front of..._him.  
_"SAI! I'm choosing you to write a fanfiction of whatever you like, genre, rating, plot, you choose. Of all the team members you're the only good one left...besides Neji who just turned gay a few days ago after you gave him that stupid Achi achi book."

Oh yeah, I didn't say anything about that sort of stuff didnt' I? Well, Achi achi is for women, Icha icha is for men, Icha achi is for bisexual people.

"...Still if he's one of the best why not him?"

"Because...of his room..."

**Neji's room**

2 anbu men broke down the door accidentally and literally crushing Hanabi into a pancake.

The anbu men stood still absorbing everything around his room, their eyes didn't move, they stood still as their head moved absorbing the sight of posters. The posters were all gay naked men.

Neji...he was on his bed. Nude...no pervert, he's just dancing! Jesus Christ!

"Oooh ooh! I'm too sexy for my shirt! Too sexy for my shirt!"

"My god young man!!" Shouted the anbu man with a squirrel mask, yay squirrel!

"OH MY GOD!! That's my fav. song!!" Said the anbu man that stood on the door crushing poor Hanabi.

"God...please...have mercy..." Hanabi breathed out. She was dying in a puddle of blood she was now so flat that a piece of paper was jealous of her.

"Come on in!" Neji said to the anbu guys. The guy with the squirrel mask ran away and the guy with the Tom Nook mask stayed.

"Oooh ooh oooh!" Neji sang as he slapped his own butt. The anbu man couldn't take it anymore and danced with him but that dance was quite dangerous...know why?

Neji got turned on so did the anbu dude but it's not that bad, for some reason. The anbu dude was able to get pregnant! It was just a few weeks ago...

Sigh...the the anbu man became so emotional that he had a heart attack and died, Neji was in a state of depression and stayed in his bed for days.

**Back to Tsunade's office**

"Why don't you send a anbu lesbian instead?" Sai asked.

"I did but she became bisexual."

"Oh..." He looked at the ground tapping his foot.

"Well? Aren't you gonna do it?" She asked. Sai smiled at her. A bit of a perverted one...or maybe just weird one like Ichimaru from Bleach.

**Outside**

Sai carried a package of books. He got like 6 huge packages and he was laughing and singing "Dicks, dicks, dicks, dicks, DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!"

Finally he got home and sat in front o' his computer.

* * *

**Forbidden love by Dicky  
**

**Rated M**

**Genre: Romance**

**Summary: Love is overrated...heck I don't know what the hell overrated means but there's a rare love that it can be either truth or death.**

It's another year that I compete in the swimming marathon. I was ready in my banana hammock.

"The race is gonna start!" My coach grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the dressing room. I was excited that I set my own hand free and ran outside.

I prepared myself and my heart raced...but suddenly...it raced faster as soon as I saw a man with the best set of abs I've ever seen. The banana hammock he was using was XXXXXX L even with such a large size it looked like it was about to burst then I saw his face. He was the most handsome man I ever seen.

"GO!!" The man announced** (AN: I forgot what that kind of person is called)**

I just stared and couldn't move. He was the fastest, faster than me, I guess...

"What the hell are you doing, Sai?! COME ON!! MOVE IT!!" My coach shouted. I still couldn't move even with my coach pushing me along with most of my fans.

Soon the race ended and that man won.

"This year's prize goes to...UCHIHA ITACHI!!" So Itachi's his name huh? He just grabbed the prize and didn't show any emotions, he just walked away.

"HEY WAIT!!" I ran after him.

"What?" He asked.

I stood there stuttering, his eyes were so beautiful but so cold.

"Hello?" CRAP!! I didn't know what to say, oh god why? Why didn't I think of something to tell him!? I gotta think of something quickly!

"Uh...N-n-nice j-ob...w-winning t-the r-r-race." That was all I could say.

"Hmph." He walked away from me...I felt so stupid, I wanted to punch myself and I did as soon as he was out of my sight.

"SAI!!" My coach punched me "WHY DIDN'T YOU MOVE?!"

I rubbed my sore cheek and didn't say anything...I would tell him if only he wasn't homophobic...nor my father...

* * *

(Sai's the one talking here) I hope that you liked this chap and don't say that I made up about the XXXXXX large banana hammock because it is real! I was reading this book about the human body and there was a man with a dick that large...hahaha...oh dicks...

* * *

**Reviews:**

dreamer789

...Uh...quite scary...I never knew that yaoi fangirls could be this scary...

**Review reply:**

I'm a boy...

**My PM to him:**

O.O

**His PM:**

Please don't spam my inbox.

**A few days later**

Itachi killed Sai.

* * *

The end!

It took me a while to come up with something like this till I was watching Scrubs with my big broda(yes, I spelled it wrong but I call him broda) and we were watching a episode when Todd shows JD his banana hammock closet.

I don't know what to write about in the next chapter, you my dear reader. Drop in the review option the name of the next person you want me to write about and by the way, the naruto world characters are like suppose to be real and we don't know that so I didn't even know Sai, Kakashi, and Naruto themselves wrote it...well in this fic.


End file.
